An experiment in intentional living

By way of introduction, for many years I've been a closet essayist. While I have published my writing in the past, it hasn't been a high priority for me to have others read my writing. To paraphrase Richard Bach in his book Illusions, the world doesn't really need me to tell it how the world works. Everyone has their own perspective on life--who am I to feel that my perspective is so terribly valuable. Nevertheless, I do feel that other people's writings have touched me deeply and so perhaps what I have to say will be of use to others.

This is my first foray into blogging. It feels like an appropriate time because a friend recently invited me to join her in an experiment. To engage with her in the "study" the book "A Year to Live: How to live this year as if it were your last" by Stephen Levine. Coincidentally I had heard about this book only about a week before my friend's emailed invitation. I told her that it sounded like fun. I was expecting it to be a sort of ad hoc book club. Once I got the book out of the library and read the introduction and first chapter, though, I realized that what I was agreeing to was significantly more of a commitment.

Levine's premise is that many people never really live consciously and fully until they're given notice that their life will definitely be coming to an end within a year. Having worked with many dying people, he says that many of these folks report that once the horrible first reaction to the "death sentence" passes, they say that they feel that they've actually been given permission to finally live! ...to live the life they should have been living all along.

He decided to do an experiment. He'd live a calendar year as if it were his last. He'd try to live consciously and gratefully and to tie up the loose ends that we all procrastinate. Then he wrote a book about it and essentially he is inviting others to follow his example and do their own "year to live" experiment.

As my 45th birthday will, God willing, occur in April, I've been putting a lot of thought lately into whether or not I'm living as if life were actually finite. These days everyone seems to expect to live to be 100. I am well aware, however, that there's a good chance that I won't. Unfortunately one really wonderful friend died last year at age 60 and another acquaintance in her early 60s is likely going to die in the coming year. My own mother had cancer from her late 40s to her late 50s and died just shy of her 60th birthday.

So lately I have been thinking--what if were to die around age 60? Am I really living the way I would if I only had about 15 years left?

But even 15 years is long enough to procrastinate and put off items on life's to-do list. We tell ourselves that we'll get to that dream trip or start pursuing a passion or deepening our spiritual practices when present responsibilities and resource restrictions have passed. But knowing an end point is really in sight might make the difference. What if I were down to the last five years? The very last year? Am I really living intentionally and consciously? What do I need to do NOW?

So Levine's suggestion and my friend's invitation come at a perfect time to really make some changes. My plan is to create a plan and carry out an experiment in intentional living for this year and meet periodically with a couple of friends who have also expressed interest in this project for mutual support and encouragement. I'd like to share this year's experience with you out there in blog-land and invite any of you to share your own thoughts and results of similar experiments with me in this on-line forum.

with blessings for a meaningful 2008,
Debra